Thoughts about Mom

 I used to write things on this blog periodically as a means of documenting life as I experienced it as well as to share ideas with other people. I find that sitting down and typing, let alone reading, is generally not well suited to my stage of life. Perhaps for some people it is, but apparently not so much for me.

Today I'm back again for a moment. I'm back to type a few things I've observed from life in the phase I'm in and the things I see friends and family experiencing.

A few weeks ago I asked my mom to help me watch my girls so I could catch up on some things I needed to finish without getting distracted by a couple of people who need my guidance to keep them out of serious accidents and my assistance for the most basic things in life like butt wiping and food preparation. I felt overwhelmed that day, but I was in for a shock. It turns out my mom is the one who needs help from me for now, and not only my mom but my sister who has been ill whom my mom has been helping with laundry, cooking, and other things. My mom is sick with cancer and she will need to focus on her own health for the time being.

Over the last several weeks we went from thinking mom had a sinus infection to wondering if she was going to need hospice care. We're somewhere in the middle now, we are hopeful that there is a course of treatment for this thing, but we don't know if it will leave her blind or deaf or just temporarily very uncomfortable from side effects.

I'm reminded that somehow the slow-moving lady who is never particularly efficient at much of anything raised seven kids and homeschooled them mostly by herself. I rarely saw a babysitter, we spent all our time in the same small house together (unless it was after 3pm when we were FINALLY allowed outdoors). Most of what I remember her teaching me was not so much practical as it was philosophical. I don't remember her teaching me a lot about self-care and practical life tasks; I remember learning those from my sisters, especially the firstborn and the one closest in age to me. My mom taught me things about reading, poetry, art, literature, and the Bible. She gave me pathways to explore my interests and to learn more about anything I found interesting. She did this by providing a set of encyclopedias in our living room (eventually we had three sets, actually) and by allowing frequent visits to the library. She provided musical instruments for us to play when the whim hit. She taught me to read by accident because I absorbed the information while she taught my sister to read. That's why I was reading at the age of 4.

I had my difficult points as a child, I had my stubborn streak and I resisted a lot of my older sisters' attempts to guide me and I'm certain I resisted my parents' guidance as well. Although, with my sisters, I was more spite-driven than I was with my parents. After all, they held no particular authority over me. But in many ways, I think I was an easier kid among the seven because I learned easily, and had motivation to learn. My sisters before me struggled much more with math concepts than I did, and my brothers after me struggled for years to read. In fact, they still struggle with reading and writing.

Observing my own stage of life where my oldest is 3, my middle is 1.5 and my youngest is not yet born, I'm more acutely aware than ever before of how much consistency it takes to raise little ones well. Consistency in feeding, consistency in responding to bathroom needs, consistency in connecting on a personal level, etc. It's a lot of work and I think I understand a little better why my mom's face often looked so droopy. I'm sure she experienced her fair share of discouragement and overwhelm. Our house was always a mess, we didn't listen to her very well, and I'm sure that fed into frustration. We often felt frustrated with her and I'm positive we caused plenty of frustration for her.

I recognize more distinctly how my mom had to get up and serve breakfast (probably oatmeal) every day to a handful of children until she had some kids who were old enough to do that for her. She breastfed her babies until they were old enough to take solids. She had to change diaper after diaper and then teach us to use the toilet. She did that for seven kids and I can't quite wrap my head around it. In so many things I don't consider her to be skillful, but she's really good at communicating her faith to us and saying again and again the truths that she holds firmly to.

Our bedtime routine involved reciting the twenty-third Psalm, singing a song that contains part of the words of that Psalm, and praying together. It's something I've continued to do with my girls so much so that my older daughter will try to comfort her little sister at nap time by singing the same exact song. Mom had a habit of listening to particular radio programs at given times of the day that continued to drill into us concepts from and related to the Bible, probably while folding part of the never-ending mountain of laundry in the living room. She had the practice of showing up, albeit probably late, for all three church services every week - Church, prayer meeting, and Wednesday Bible study. We only stayed home if we were sick, but those who were well still attended.

 As an adult, I see the overwhelm my mom experiences when anticipating a trip, but she and Dad still managed to take us on road trips periodically. Apparently, we visited Florida once, and I serenaded everyone else with the sound of my cries. We visited Indiana a handful of times to see grandparents, and we visited Montana where my parents lived for a season as newlyweds and again as young parents every Summer for several years. I remember the mood at home being less than great if my dad worked late or was gone on a trip, but there were those other times when my mom did something special with us because Dad was gone. That was my favorite. Sometimes it was a special breakfast with berries or something we didn't normally have at breakfast. Once we visited a lighthouse on the shores of Lake Michigan and that was the first time it struck me that Mom misses Dad when he's gone. She decided to sit at the shore looking rather teary-eyed while the rest of us walked down the pier to get a closer look at the lighthouse. I believe Dad was in Africa for a week or two at the time.

My mom isn't much for physical touch like hugs and cuddles, but there was plenty of touch when we were babies. I remember being awed by how strong my mom must be when we were at some gathering at someone's house in the evening. My younger brother was tired so she held him most of the time. I remember wondering how she could continue to hold him because I was well aware that he was heavy. I suppose he might have been around 1 at this point. I know what kind of strength that is now. It builds up slowly over time as your baby grows and you start doing things with your free hand while you hold the baby in the other. I noticed recently that if I hold my one-year-old in my right arm I am very quickly fatigued. But if I hold her in my left arm as I usually do if I'm working on something, I can continue to hold her for long periods before I'm too tired. My mom doesn't strike me as being very strong, but another example of strength she has developed that I don't have is in swimming. As an adult, I went with her once to her gym where she liked to swim laps. She was able to swim a fair distance. But then, I've always been a weak and inefficient swimmer.

My mom always told us it's important to have some basic ability to swim to prevent drowning, so there were a few years she put us into swimming classes. I remember being at a low skill level, but older than the other kids who were in the same level and thus much taller than my classmates. What resulted was that I was in 3-foot water only up to my belly button where I always knew I could touch the ground if I felt panicky. I once even bumped my head on the ground doing the dolphin glide. The easy access to the ground is, I'm convinced, what prevented me from excelling any more than I did. My sister who was literally thrown in the deep end actually had to depend on skill and so I think that's why she succeeded more than I did. I also learned something about nerves when I was in swimming lessons. I would feel butterflies or sick to my stomach before swimming lessons and dread them. I enjoyed the lessons well enough, but I was anxious beforehand. One time I told my mom I was feeling sick, so she let me sit on the grass with her outside of the pool while my siblings did their lessons. While I sat there I realized that I was missing out and wished I were in the water, too. That's how I learned to recognize that the sick feeling was just nervousness, but that I actually enjoyed the dreaded lessons. I didn't have to let my feelings dictate my actions.

My mom has always been a simple person. She doesn't do very many complicated things, she didn't put us in many programs or sports as many parents do, but she has been there for her kids through everything. She is still one of the first people I call when I want to chat. We aren't usually very purposeful in our conversation, but I always know she's interested in my description of my mundane life. She is well-loved by my daughters, too. They always look forward to seeing her.

Optimizing the Bullet Journal

This is a blog about bullet journaling.

First, let me say, if you're unfamiliar with bullet journaling, check out this video from Ryder Carol, the creator of the method. Otherwise, the rest of what I have to say might not make much sense.

For some people, bullet journaling is also their adult coloring book, full of decorations, doodles, etc. I get the idea that some people are intimidated by bullet journaling because they feel like it's too hard for them to do all that work. Other people seem to think of bullet journaling as too feminine, for the same reason, so they ditch it altogether. In its basic form, bullet journaling is mostly functional and the other flairs are a matter of preference.

A bullet journal is also very analog, which is great for some people (like myself), and not so great for others (like my husband.) From the time I was introduced to bullet journaling, it became a basic part of my tool kit, and especially became an essential part of how I manage my projects, events, planning, etc., when I was planning my wedding and then moving overseas directly afterward.

Bullet journaling can be super helpful to quickly sort through and arrange your ideas and then be able to understand them at a glance. You don't have to read an article or something to pick up where you left off or to understand later what you were thinking about when you wrote it. Another similar concept is the Bullet Map, but I haven't been able to integrate that method into my brainstorming methods. The Bullet Journal was developed by a guy with ADHD, and the Bullet Map was developed especially to help kids who have dyslexia.

What I would like this post to be about is some was that I have been able to streamline my bullet journal, what has worked, and what has not worked so well. Maybe you can get some ideas for your own planning or bullet journaling and see what works for you.

For me, I have found that sometimes less is more. I make my spreads pretty basic because I don't like spending a lot of time on them. There is just enough decoration to make me feel happy about it, but not so much that it feels like a chore.

Also, creating a monthly spread every month is kind of a meditative act, a way to get ready for the calendar flip that sometimes catches you off guard. Which, by the way, I have a little trick to bypass that inconvenience. I write in the first few days of the following month at the end of the current month, as pictured below. This way, it's still on my radar.

You may notice the layout on the right-hand side doesn't occur in the video previously referred to. In the last year or so I have started adding in a schedule and reducing my space for notes since I don't need to write many notes here. This way I can visualize where I need to be, when. But now that Taiwan has more COVID cases, my daytime schedule has really cleared up. I had been teaching students in the afternoons at various times and on various days.

Currently, I'm in the middle of an international move. There are a lot of moving parts to juggle, and I needed to keep track of all of them. 

Normally what people might be able to do in a bigger project like this is make collections. That is, there are multiple pages (not necessarily one after the other) that address a particular topic or a bigger project. In order to keep track of them, you can write the page numbers of the other collection pages at the top of the page you're working on. Even though this page is part of a collection, I forgot to put the other page numbers on it. But that's ok because I put a piece of tape as a bookmark. You can also write those page numbers into the index. But I find that I still get kind of lost with this because I can't always keep track of what tasks from what page have been done, which can be done now, which need to wait until later, etc. 

So I tried integrating a Kanban into my journal, which has been great so far.

You can learn more about a kanban here. If the video is too long, just watch in double speed, or skip ahead a bit.

The downside of task lists is that eventually there will be finished tasks mixed in with the unfinished tasks, and you don't necessarily work in order. Then the finished tasks might end up becoming visual clutter that make it difficult for you to figure out what you are actually trying to do.

That's why the kanban has helped me. I can just remove the sticky note with the finished task on it, I can move the task to a different location, even stick it onto my calendar, if I want to, and I can rearrange or sort again if I need to. In the photo, you can see a giant sticky note placed over a bunch of hidden tasks. I hid them because I can't work on them yet, but seeing them made me feel too overwhelmed. Oddly enough, the section that says "Rex Tasks" was originally where I had some things for Rex to do, but I moved them to a whiteboard where he can see them, instead of having them in my own journal where he remains oblivious to them.

I wish I had known of this idea when I was wedding planning because I felt like every time I sat down to write a list, I kept repeating so many of the same things. Then I couldn't distinguish between what was important or still undone from previous lists. It made me feel really dizzy.

A couple of other things I love using the bullet journal for (since it has everything else I'm planning and arranging) is to jot down my cash spending in there. I usually put this right after the monthly spread. It helps me know what's coming and going. For some reason, living in a place where you can't read the bank statements (because they're in Chinese) has really thrown a wrench in my budgeting, and only recently have I begun to feel like I can get an understanding of our finances. I think it helps that we've had a steady source of income for the last ten months.

I also love to keep track of what books I've read, who wrote them, and in which month I read it. I've tried keeping track of podcasts, but I don't think it's clicking for me.

Now for the things that don't work for me.

I can't do mood trackers, habit trackers, or any of that kind of thing. It gets lost as I continue moving forward in the journal and I forget about it. I think if I really wanted to remember it, I would have to bookmark it like I did with my lists about moving-related tasks.

Another thing I don't put in my bullet journal is mundane, repeated things like my daily chores routine. First, it gets lost. Second, I don't like writing such boring, repetitive things in my special bullet journal. I do need to see them, though, and I don't like having to remember what to do on what day. So I print out a chart for each month and hang it on the fridge. This way I can see it when I'm getting meals on or go to it when I'm feeling lost as to where to start my day.

Lots of people swear by them, but I don't do a gratitude journal, or at least not yet.

I learned earlier on that it feels like a waste to do long form journaling in my bullet journal. I hate having my plans interrupted by my random thoughts each day that I wrote only for the purpose of processing them. So I use a separate journal for that.

A final tip that I learned recently is in this other super helpful video which talks about prioritizing the tasks you dread most so that they don't plague you and nag at you when you're busy trying not to do them. This perspective has helped me rethink how I prioritize tasks on my to-do lists and remember that the more icky a task feels, the more gratifying it will be to complete it.

So, that's it from me today. I would love to hear about what planning strategies you have. Do you use digital calendars or analog? What works best for you and why?

Finding Sanity In Spite of My Work

Last Fall was an overwhelming season for me.

It always felt like I had so much to do and no one to help me do it. I needed to feed three people, run my house, and had to learn my way around a new town. I don't know a lot of people here and I often felt alone. It was hard, and every day felt like a long to-do list.

Over the Winter and Spring I've stopped feeling it's too hard for me, and in spite of all I feel the need to finish I even have some time to myself. But how did I get here?

First, my routines and systems needed to be tweaked. I had some in place, but they seemed like taskmasters, not servants. From ideas garnered from some brainstorming, the Little House series and the Anne of Green Gables series, I came up with rhythms that made my days flow more smoothly and gave me things to look forward to even while I'm working. Another source of inspiration was Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder (in three volumes). These are collections of articles she wrote for a publication called The Missouri Ruralist. You can read more of her tips later in this post.

In Anne of Green Gables, Marilla Cuthbert is the essence of neat, tidy housekeeping. Her house is always in ship shape. I know she's fictitious, but she still inspired me, particularly with the admonition to Anne to fold her pajamas and lay them neatly somewhere after wearing them. How long does it take to do that? A couple of seconds, only, but can make the difference between a cluttered or neat bedroom.

In the Little House books, Ma had a rotation of daily chores that were done after the morning straightening routine was finished. I also had the impression that high energy chores (cleaning up from breakfast, making the beds, etc) were done first, and lower energy chores (sewing, mending, knitting, reading lessons) were saved for later. If everything was finished, the afternoons may have included a time of singing, reading, storytelling, or other entertainments before a final stretch of chores to close the day.

Following suit, I try to finish high-energy chores after breakfast. I now clean up from breakfast, wash laundry, and batch cook meals at the beginning of the day. If it's bathroom cleaning day, I do that here, too. I save low-energy tasks like folding laundry, reading books, journaling, writing messages, budgeting, etc. for the end of the day. As something to look forward to, I usually go out on a walk after cleaning up from lunch. The afternoon is my like time off. Sometimes I still have to run errands, but I now see errands as a change of pace and environment rather than a chore. Ioanna loves our afternoon outings and seems to look forward to them as much as I do. There is a wonderful park across the road from our home and I can't count the hours we've spent meandering among the trees, flowers, water lilies, bridges, pagodas, or watching the ducks, fish, turtles, squirrels, and even people. It's therapeutic and a great chance for listening to lots of books.

The next improvement I made was to do more chores in large batches. Instead of cooking one meal from beginning to end three times a day, I generally cook large batches of ingredients. I usually rotate cooking batches of grain, meat, or veggies, and these can be combined in other varieties for later meals. I also wait to wash laundry until it has accumulated, and I alternate washing days and folding days (since the clothes need time to dry on the line, anyway). 

In the last week or two, I have begun letting Ioanna join me in food prep, and she is loving it. She begs to be involved, and she loves tasting things in the process. This does require more time (she's not efficient) and more clean-up at the end, but it's lots of fun if I'm not in a hurry.

Next is to stop dreading tasks. I hate the feeling of something weighing over my head because I still didn't do it. If this happens, I spend more energy dreading the task than I would use to finish the task. It's not worth it. So I have two options. The first is just do it sooner. The second is to skip the hateful task if it's not that important.

To make a "hateful" task better here are some suggestions. Make a strategy or game plan to make it easier. Time yourself and see how long the task actually takes (usually shorter than we feel it will). Or put on some music or a podcast. An example of a chore to do right away is dishwashing. I can finish in under ten minutes when the food hasn't dried on, and the clean kitchen makes me feel really happy. An example of a skippable chore is mopping. Although it takes only fifteen minutes to clean all my floors, it makes little difference whether I mop every week or not. The only places that might matter are the kitchen, bathroom, and dining area.

My next tip is related to attitude. The success of my days depends largely on the thoughts I'm thinking about my work. If I'm thinking about how hard it all is, or that I just can't keep up or manage, I really start to act as if it's too much for me and I feel behind every day. But to think as if I'm a capable housekeeper it's like flipping a switch in my head. I stop thinking how hard everything is and start thinking about ways to do my work better or more efficiently. The mental energy is put to better use. I now like to think of myself as a professional mom who teaches on the side.

As promised, here are the ideas I got from Laura Ingalls Wilder collection of articles. These ones come from the (poorly named) Writings to Young Women Volume 2 - On Life As a Pioneer Woman. In these articles she refers to the role of farmer's wife as being a professional business. It involves money management, sales of products, production of goods, and complex time management spanning seasons and years as well as days, weeks, and months. She gives tips to make farm life easier, like piping spring water into your kitchen. Laura (can I call her that?) also talked about modern conveniences, like pots and pans aren't so heavy as they used to be; mechanisms to water your animals by simply turning a valve, the hassle spared by no longer needing to gather firewood and clean the ashes in our kitchens. And to the point, Laura discusses ways to make work better, if not necessarily easier. For example, a fifteen-minute nap can do wonders, as can leaving your work for a day or even half a day can result in your coming back to the previously begrudged work with a happy dispostition. She also recommends the joys of social gatherings - maybe a women's club for country ladies. Laura made the point that these gatherings are especially refreshing after a very busy season of farmwork, like at the end of Summer. She writes, "Bits of fancy work or sewing may be taken to the meetings, and the latest stitch or the shortcut in plain sewing can be learned by all. Recipes may be exchanged, good stories told, songs sung, and jokes enjoyed. ... Women in the country, as well as those in town, need these occasions to show what charming hostesses and pleasant guests they can be." I loved, too, her recommendation to listen to the birds while washing dishes to make the task more pleasant.

Here is a little snippet written as a conclusion to a list of conveniences that can be implemented on a farm. "... I must say if there are any country women who are wasting their time envying their sisters in the city - don't do it. Such an attitude is out-of-date. Wake up to your opportunities. Look your place over, and if you have not kept up with the modern improvements and conveniences in your home, bring yourself up to date. Then take the time saved from bringing water from the spring, setting the milk in the old way, and churning by hand to build yourself a better social life."

In summary, I have become more peaceful in my seemingly constant and endless work by implementing schedules for chores, but not being a slave to the schedule. I've put breaks into my day, things to look forward to. I've stopped procrastinating and dreading my work, unless the chore is one I'm willing to leave undone. I do more work in batches. I take time away from my work, but not so much that it gets out of hand (usually). I became grateful that I don't wash laundry by hand or have to heat water before washing dishes, or fetch water from the stream. And I learned a thing or two from other people's work routines and habits.

As a bonus tip, I've begun implementing a two hour nap time for Ioanna. I let her stay in her crib for a full two hours even if she's not sleeping that whole time. We both enjoy the break, and I've heard her making up all kinds of inventive games and chattering happily to herself while I finish a few tasks without her.

Laundry in Taiwan (no dryer)

Let's talk about a completely non-inspiring topic: Laundry. Ok, in reality, I find it a bit inspiring, but my husband does not!

For certain household routines, I usually follow a ton of great ideas I got from Becky Rapinchuk author of Simply Clean and inventor of the Clean Mama brand. She has so many great ideas of how to maintain cleanliness in your home on a regular basis without feeling like you have to dedicate your weekends to cleaning. She suggests washing a load of laundry every day from start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, put away.

Recently I was listening to a podcast that kind of clicked with me immediately called The Lazy Genius Podcast where Kendra Adachi talks about being a genius about the things that matter, and lazy about the things that don't. She HATES doing laundry and readily admits it. So the idea of doing a little laundry every day just drives her nuts. She would much rather do it all on one big old laundry day where she washes 4, 5, maybe 6 loads of laundry all at once.

But... I can't do laundry quite the way either of these lovely ladies describe it because I don't have a dryer. The only way I can finish a load from start to finish in one day is to go to the laundromat and pay for what I can otherwise do for free. The only way I can wash all my laundry in one day is if I go to the laundromat and pay for what I can otherwise do for free. I once heard someone say that "God and I have a deal. I wash the dishes and He dries them." That's true for me too, with the exception of certain items that need to be dried immediately to prevent their ruin, but it's also true of my laundry.

So, boring as the topic is, I am telling you what my laundry routine kind of looks like.

I usually do a load of laundry every other day, give or take. The way I do a little laundry every day is I alternate washing days and folding/putting away days. That's really it. So if Monday I wash and hang a load of laundry, I will fold and put away that laundry on Tuesday, or maybe on Wednesday if there's not tons of laundry or if I don't feel like dealing with it on Tuesday for whatever reason.

Now for a little bonus - my laundry hacks. First, I save folding laundry to be done at the end of the day when my energy is lower and instead of thinking of it as a chore, I think of it as busy work for my hands while I do something enjoyable with my head. I can think, I can chat, I can listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music. Another thing I do is to start a load of laundry in the morning when I'm about to start lots of other chores or breakfast clean-up. Then I go and hang it after my other chores are done. Or if I'm feeling ambitious at night, I will put the laundry in the wash with the delay-start function, and in the morning I can hang the laundry after breakfast.

There are a couple of times I take my laundry to the laundromat nearby. The first instance would be when I'm washing sheets so that they are dry the same day. Here in Taiwan the weather is exceptionally humid nearly all the time. On the 15th floor where we live the moisture in the air starts to condensate (as opposed to levels nearer the ground) and so on very rainy, foggy days I sometimes take the laundry to be dried automatically, or I bring it inside where we have the dehumidifier or air conditioner running.

One thing that is pretty common in Taiwan is to hang your wet clothes on hangers and then hang them on the line. This saves a step for clothes that need to be hung in the wardrobe, which is nice. I also think of hanging clothes as being the first step to folding. This is because, if you hang an item very straight to dry, it's already been folded in half once, or laid straight, in the case of something like a T-shirt or pants.

When my baby was very small, I would always hang or fold laundry on the bed while she did tummy time and watched. That brings back sweet memories.

Life Lessons from the Ingalls Family - Caroline Ingalls

 Caroline Ingalls:

It's great to have good neighbors!

Just assume you'll be working all day, every day - except Sundays, of course.

Don't complain about what you don't have, be grateful for what you DO have.

Never let your man take a trip into town if you suspect a snowstorm is coming. Just go with your gut.

Christmas can always be made special, no matter how little you have.

Never throw away old clothes. Cut them up and make them into something else.

It doesn't matter their race, you can't trust strange men.

Even if you see no other human soul for months, always use your best table manners.

Education for your children is of utmost importance.

If you can convince your husband, always live in or near a town.

Salt pork is the end-all seasoning for any bland food.

Only foreign women work in the fields, unless your husband has no way to finish the harvest on time.

You don't need much money if you can make most things by yourself.

Don't make enemies with the locals, cook them as much cornmeal as they ask you to give them.

It's shameful to come out of your room in your pajamas.

If your life seems to be at its lowest of lows, it might help to sing your favorite hymn about heaven.

All's well that ends well, even if you almost just got killed.

Why is Rex in quarantine???

Recently when speaking to friends I have mentioned that Rex is in quarantine. People become alarmed and wonder ,"Why? What happened?"

There really is no cause for alarm, Rex is not sick (as far as we know).

Here is what happened. Two weeks ago, Rex flew to Seattle and back in order to initiate his residency in the United States. Unfortunately that was the only way to do that, even though travel at this time is not ideal by any means. You can read all about how we planned the trip in my last post.

So why quarantine? This is Taiwan's policy. If you've been out of the country you need to self quarantine for 14 days before you're allowed to leave your home. This quarantine is strictly enforced.

How does quarantine work here?

First, when you arrive at the airport, a special quarantine taxi will drive you back to wherever you're spending your period of isolation. They track your location on your phone and if your phone dies or if you leave the area in which you are quarantining, the police will come to make sure you're staying alone.

Also, they will ask you to check your temperature and symptoms each day and report that to them in a daily phone call. There is also someone who is kind of in charge of making sure you have everything you need, etc.

In Rex's first day of quarantine a lady came by with a bag of commodities and food. Actually, I'm not sure what all was in it except rice, garbage bags, and bleach. I suspect there were other items as well, but I can't say what since Rex didn't show me.

Furthermore, if you have people in your house under the age of 6, or over the age of 65 you are required to remain separate from them. Since we have a baby, I am not allowed to come into contact with Rex this whole time. So he has to self-isolate in his own bedroom/bathroom. I cannot imagine how we would have survived this period in our last studio apartment. I think the only option would have been for me to stay with my in-laws. But Rex likely would have gone stir crazy (more than he is here) because the only view out the window was the back of another apartment building, there was next to no sunlight visible, and the air was often full of the smell of frying oil or fish from our neighbors. Gross! Also, Rex would have had to endure the daily dose of neighbors singing melodramatic karaoke songs with that weird echo effect to sound like they're in an auditorium (which of course, they're not!) Rex detests the sound of karaoke.

Because the average time for the onset of COVID symptoms is five days, Rex had me and the baby staying at a BNB in the neighborhood for those first five days. Then we moved back home. But baby and I are sharing our own bedroom and Rex is stuck inside of his own room.

In some ways this ought to be perfect for Rex because now he can spend as much time at whatever time he likes working on his research without disrupting my sleep or routine. I think he stayed up all night the last three nights, and I wouldn't be surprised if that's what he's been doing most days.

Thus, you can see how quarantine is done here in Taiwan and why.

How are we coping, and what have we learned in the process?

I think Ioanna has been acting a little unusually lately, a little more clingy, a little more likely to express strong complaints, and I can't say if this is because of her age or because of the events of the last two weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if somehow she misses daddy.

Rex is, naturally, feeling cooped up. But he has mountain views and he got to see a double rainbow yesterday morning. When I go out on a walk, I will give him a video call and just let him see where we're going. This way he gets to at least vicariously experience the wind, the lake, the trees, and nature. But it makes him dizzy because I can't keep the camera very steady while walking for my own pleasure.

For my own sake, I find that this quarantine time has actually helped me become more aware of my own actions, my own habits, and how I can do much better at keeping up with chores, etc., without putting things off and letting the piled up tasks overwhelm me. So the house has actually been cleaner, the meals have been more timely, and I've even been going out for lengthy walks some days. I've also binged on listening to books and am close to finishing my third within 16 days. Oh, and I've been doing some professional development for my English teaching.

I can't say that it's always easy. Naturally, it's a bit more difficult that I can't ever ask Rex to hold the baby for awhile, or that I can't leave her in her crib while I dump the trash. She has begun crawling with her tummy off the ground and pulling up on furniture while we were at the BNB, so she sometimes pulls up on the crib rails and then loses her balance. I'm afraid of her hitting her head on the rails behind her, so the other day I just set her on the shock absorbing mat in the living room and asked Rex to observe her from his room with the door open while I went to dump the garbage.

Or when I go grocery shopping, I can't leave the baby behind with Rex, or bring Rex along to help carry things. So the other day Ioanna fell asleep in the car within five minutes or so, and I had to wake her to go buy food. I carried her on my back while buying food. But upon returning home (since I had purchased a lot of items and they were heavy) I needed to unload them and the baby before parking the car in its place about a block or two away. I think I put her down for a nap before parking the car, if I remember correctly.

I'm just thankful we have the car now, otherwise I would have to walk 10+ minutes to buy groceries and I would have to go more frequently because I would only be able to buy what I can carry. Well, I should acknowledge that we have friends in the area who have offered to help us pick up groceries if we need anything, but up until now we haven't needed to ask them for this kind of assistance.

For the record, Rex is still feeling fine and has only three more days left of quarantine.

On Immigration, Visas, Delays, and Quarantines

I am writing this blog today because I realize there are a number of people who have asked me and Rex the same question, "When are you coming back to the States?" At this point it looks like we will return in January 2021, if the Lord is wiling. If you don't want to read the following story, and just want to know our outcome, please skip ahead to the final paragraph.

In life many things happen that are outside of our control, a pandemic is just one of them.

Here in Taiwan the virus has been exceptionally well controlled, there have been no local cases since April, and there have been less than 500 total cases in a country of a densely packed 23 million population. We feel safe here, the face masks have been doffed, life is surprisingly normal in spite of what's happening around the globe. The only things we have to fear here are earthquakes and typhoons.

If it were just Rex and me, we might be returning to the States, or maybe even have returned a few months ago. But now we have a baby, a six month old baby who loves to crawl all over the place and put everything into her mouth. We don't consider it worth the risk at this time to return to the States where the COVID cases keep going up. For this reason we have rented an apartment for six months in a smaller town that is cheaper and larger than our previous apartment.

But there is a slight dilemma. In order for Rex to make his living as a graduate student research assistant, he has to have authorization to work in the United States. He has a visa in his passport that allows him to enter the country, but he has to enter before August 17th in order to attain his green card and therefore resident status. This will make him able to work in research at UW Madison even while remaining physically here in Taiwan. Plane tickets are scarce, and travel is risky. If he is going to enter the US border, ideally he would have a direct flight there and back with no quarantine requirement upon arrival in the US.

Here is what our questions are:

-  When is the absolute deadline for Rex to enter the US border?

-  Upon arrival in the US, will Rex have to quarantine?

-  Will the border patrol permit him to go through customs in an airport far away from the State where he later intends to take up residence, such as Guam or Hawaii? And will they further allow him to turn right back around, board the same plane, and return to Taiwan the same day he arrived?

-  Are there any flights to Guam or Hawaii which are geographically closer than the mainland?

-  How to prevent catching anything while riding on the plane and sitting in airports?

-  Is there any other alternative to flying into the States?

-  Upon return to Taiwan, what exactly are the quarantine requirements?

-  Will it be better for Rex to stay in the apartment with me and the baby for his quarantine? Or will we have to find a way for me and the baby to stay somewhere else?

So we did some research, some really complicated research that took a couple of days of focused questioning, phone calls, reading, etc. I will give a summary at the end, but if you want to know something about the process, keep reading here.

Even though Rex has been working on research for his lab since several months ago, he hasn't gotten the offer letter and a start date until recently. The deadline on his visa to enter the US is August 17th, but he would have to submit a form to his school within three days of his start date (August 10th) in order to show his authorization to work in the States. That would mean his deadline for travel would be moved a bit sooner, to August 13th. But we were able to talk to the lady who sorts out these payroll matters and ask if Rex's start date could be moved to August 17th so that he has another week of options available to him for flights. The flights really are quite complicated right now as flights are scarce and most of them are twice as expensive as they normally would be.

And then Rex remembered that when he enters the States, the expiration date on his passport has to be no earlier than six months away. He would not be able to fulfill that requirement even now, so he had to make an errand to Taipei on Monday (7/27) to renew his passport paying an extra $30usd to expedite the process so he could get the new passport the next day.

But which port of entry should Rex go to? Guam does not currently require a quarantine for visitors coming from Taiwan if visiting for less than five days, but finding a flight to Guam means layovers in Korea and Japan. It is extremely difficult to find flights to Hawaii at this time, and I don't believe any of those would be direct flights, either. All direct flights to and from Taiwan land in the following cities: Houston, Seattle, Los Angeles, Chicago, and (oh, what was the other one?) The cheapest of these would be Seattle for about 56,000 TWD, or $1,910 USD. But flying to Seattle also means a fourteen hour flight there, a space of ten hours in the airport and a 14 hour flight back. This would be a very long and tiring day for Rex. Would there be a transit hotel he can sleep in at the airport? This is another question to which we still need to find the answer.

We also learned that in Seattle, there is no quarantine requirement for anybody, only a quarantine recommendation, which in our case is ideal since Rex doesn't want to have to stay any longer than necessary. Because we couldn't find specific answers to some of our questions, we made a couple of phone calls to authorities in different places.

We called the border patrol in Guam. 

"Is it a problem if I go through customs, turn around and get back on the same flight?" 

"No," was the answer, "That would not be an issue."

We called the USCIS (United States Center of Immigration Services) and the American Institute of Taiwan (the substitute for a consulate here since Taiwan doesn't have diplomatic status). 

"Will it be a problem if I enter the border without my wife with me?" 

Again, "No, there is no such rule requiring your wife/petitioner to cross the border with you." 

"Does this effect my wife's domicile requirement?" (I have to maintain domicile, or an intention to return to living in the States, in order to petition for Rex to become a resident.)

"No, it doesn't."

Oh, what a relief!

After some calculations, we realized that, although Guam is geographically closer, between all the layovers and flight changes, and the uncertainty of quarantine requirements in those layover locations, it turns out that flying to Seattle was still the best option.

So after returning to Taiwan, what are the quarantine requirements? We know that, of course, Rex has to be quarantined for fourteen days. We have a couple of friends who had to complete the quarantine, and they had the option of staying together with family in the same place, and their family could still come and go. One family chose to put the returning family member in a space of her own with bathroom, kitchen, everything she might need. Another couple we know, the husband and the wife simply shared the same apartment. But after a phone call to a government official, Rex was asked,

"Are there any elderly people in your home over the age of 65?'

"No, but we have a six month old baby who is not yet weaned."

"Oh, then you can't have contact with either of them for two weeks. You could stay in a special hotel, or your wife and baby could stay somewhere else, or you could stay in a room by yourself with your own bathroom. But when you receive meals, your wife would have to set it down, walk away, and then you could come and take the food."

Ok, so now my question is about dishes and laundry. How would we keep from spreading stuff around if I still have to complete those tasks?

At this time it looks as if I will learn what it feels like to be a single mom for a span of two weeks. I'll have to make all the food, all the coffee, do most of the chores with no help from anyone. Or perhaps I'll let Rex do all his own chores and stay with someone else for a time. I might have to postpone or cancel my teaching appointments that were going to be done in person in order to further prevent spread, this kind of thing. But we'll figure it out and muddle through.

In addition, we are very, very thankful for the new apartment with mountain views on each side. It makes it hard to feel like your stuck inside all day even if you don't get the chance to leave the house, or if you're in quarantine. The new apartment also has two bedrooms and a study, two bathrooms, a living room and dining room, as well as a kitchen and two balconies. 

So here's the summary I promised you:

Rex will fly to Seattle next week Wednesday (8/5) and return to Taiwan right away arriving early in the morning on Friday (8/7). Then he will fulfill his two week quarantine with no contact with me or the baby. This will enable him to be paid for his research at UW Madison.