Last Fall was an overwhelming season for me.
It always felt like I had so much to do and no one to help me do it. I needed to feed three people, run my house, and had to learn my way around a new town. I don't know a lot of people here and I often felt alone. It was hard, and every day felt like a long to-do list.
Over the Winter and Spring I've stopped feeling it's too hard for me, and in spite of all I feel the need to finish I even have some time to myself. But how did I get here?
First, my routines and systems needed to be tweaked. I had some in place, but they seemed like taskmasters, not servants. From ideas garnered from some brainstorming, the Little House series and the Anne of Green Gables series, I came up with rhythms that made my days flow more smoothly and gave me things to look forward to even while I'm working. Another source of inspiration was Writings to Young Women from Laura Ingalls Wilder (in three volumes). These are collections of articles she wrote for a publication called The Missouri Ruralist. You can read more of her tips later in this post.
In Anne of Green Gables, Marilla Cuthbert is the essence of neat, tidy housekeeping. Her house is always in ship shape. I know she's fictitious, but she still inspired me, particularly with the admonition to Anne to fold her pajamas and lay them neatly somewhere after wearing them. How long does it take to do that? A couple of seconds, only, but can make the difference between a cluttered or neat bedroom.
In the Little House books, Ma had a rotation of daily chores that were done after the morning straightening routine was finished. I also had the impression that high energy chores (cleaning up from breakfast, making the beds, etc) were done first, and lower energy chores (sewing, mending, knitting, reading lessons) were saved for later. If everything was finished, the afternoons may have included a time of singing, reading, storytelling, or other entertainments before a final stretch of chores to close the day.
Following suit, I try to finish high-energy chores after breakfast. I now clean up from breakfast, wash laundry, and batch cook meals at the beginning of the day. If it's bathroom cleaning day, I do that here, too. I save low-energy tasks like folding laundry, reading books, journaling, writing messages, budgeting, etc. for the end of the day. As something to look forward to, I usually go out on a walk after cleaning up from lunch. The afternoon is my like time off. Sometimes I still have to run errands, but I now see errands as a change of pace and environment rather than a chore. Ioanna loves our afternoon outings and seems to look forward to them as much as I do. There is a wonderful park across the road from our home and I can't count the hours we've spent meandering among the trees, flowers, water lilies, bridges, pagodas, or watching the ducks, fish, turtles, squirrels, and even people. It's therapeutic and a great chance for listening to lots of books.
The next improvement I made was to do more chores in large batches. Instead of cooking one meal from beginning to end three times a day, I generally cook large batches of ingredients. I usually rotate cooking batches of grain, meat, or veggies, and these can be combined in other varieties for later meals. I also wait to wash laundry until it has accumulated, and I alternate washing days and folding days (since the clothes need time to dry on the line, anyway).
In the last week or two, I have begun letting Ioanna join me in food prep, and she is loving it. She begs to be involved, and she loves tasting things in the process. This does require more time (she's not efficient) and more clean-up at the end, but it's lots of fun if I'm not in a hurry.
Next is to stop dreading tasks. I hate the feeling of something weighing over my head because I still didn't do it. If this happens, I spend more energy dreading the task than I would use to finish the task. It's not worth it. So I have two options. The first is just do it sooner. The second is to skip the hateful task if it's not that important.
To make a "hateful" task better here are some suggestions. Make a strategy or game plan to make it easier. Time yourself and see how long the task actually takes (usually shorter than we feel it will). Or put on some music or a podcast. An example of a chore to do right away is dishwashing. I can finish in under ten minutes when the food hasn't dried on, and the clean kitchen makes me feel really happy. An example of a skippable chore is mopping. Although it takes only fifteen minutes to clean all my floors, it makes little difference whether I mop every week or not. The only places that might matter are the kitchen, bathroom, and dining area.
My next tip is related to attitude. The success of my days depends largely on the thoughts I'm thinking about my work. If I'm thinking about how hard it all is, or that I just can't keep up or manage, I really start to act as if it's too much for me and I feel behind every day. But to think as if I'm a capable housekeeper it's like flipping a switch in my head. I stop thinking how hard everything is and start thinking about ways to do my work better or more efficiently. The mental energy is put to better use. I now like to think of myself as a professional mom who teaches on the side.
As promised, here are the ideas I got from Laura Ingalls Wilder collection of articles. These ones come from the (poorly named) Writings to Young Women Volume 2 - On Life As a Pioneer Woman. In these articles she refers to the role of farmer's wife as being a professional business. It involves money management, sales of products, production of goods, and complex time management spanning seasons and years as well as days, weeks, and months. She gives tips to make farm life easier, like piping spring water into your kitchen. Laura (can I call her that?) also talked about modern conveniences, like pots and pans aren't so heavy as they used to be; mechanisms to water your animals by simply turning a valve, the hassle spared by no longer needing to gather firewood and clean the ashes in our kitchens. And to the point, Laura discusses ways to make work better, if not necessarily easier. For example, a fifteen-minute nap can do wonders, as can leaving your work for a day or even half a day can result in your coming back to the previously begrudged work with a happy dispostition. She also recommends the joys of social gatherings - maybe a women's club for country ladies. Laura made the point that these gatherings are especially refreshing after a very busy season of farmwork, like at the end of Summer. She writes, "Bits of fancy work or sewing may be taken to the meetings, and the latest stitch or the shortcut in plain sewing can be learned by all. Recipes may be exchanged, good stories told, songs sung, and jokes enjoyed. ... Women in the country, as well as those in town, need these occasions to show what charming hostesses and pleasant guests they can be." I loved, too, her recommendation to listen to the birds while washing dishes to make the task more pleasant.
Here is a little snippet written as a conclusion to a list of conveniences that can be implemented on a farm. "... I must say if there are any country women who are wasting their time envying their sisters in the city - don't do it. Such an attitude is out-of-date. Wake up to your opportunities. Look your place over, and if you have not kept up with the modern improvements and conveniences in your home, bring yourself up to date. Then take the time saved from bringing water from the spring, setting the milk in the old way, and churning by hand to build yourself a better social life."
In summary, I have become more peaceful in my seemingly constant and endless work by implementing schedules for chores, but not being a slave to the schedule. I've put breaks into my day, things to look forward to. I've stopped procrastinating and dreading my work, unless the chore is one I'm willing to leave undone. I do more work in batches. I take time away from my work, but not so much that it gets out of hand (usually). I became grateful that I don't wash laundry by hand or have to heat water before washing dishes, or fetch water from the stream. And I learned a thing or two from other people's work routines and habits.
As a bonus tip, I've begun implementing a two hour nap time for Ioanna. I let her stay in her crib for a full two hours even if she's not sleeping that whole time. We both enjoy the break, and I've heard her making up all kinds of inventive games and chattering happily to herself while I finish a few tasks without her.
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