One of the most fun parts of coming to Taiwan has been that one of my best friends has moved to Thailand for a semester abroad only a week after I came here. This means that we get to compare all kinds of random experiences. Visa applications, food, climate, apartment layout, traffic, classroom styles, honor and shame culture phenomena, and the feeling of helplessness when not knowing how to communicate across a language barrier.
Granted, I have it much easier in so many ways than she has had it. I have some knowledge of the Chinese language, I have had exposure over the last three years to Chinese culture even if it has sometimes been minimal, I have some friends here, I have family here, and I am here with my husband who is a Taiwanese native. Last but not least, I have been here before.
My friend in her first week had no one to talk to in English, no one to give her recommendations for food to buy, couldn't even figure out how to buy toilet paper for her apartment. Let's just say she has had some challenges that I have not had to deal with. Even traveling to Romania I would stay with people I already knew, or was at least connected with.
But now that her classes have begun things are better. She has connections with other people, is no longer confused about how to register for classes, and has begun to fall into a regular routine. I'm happy for her because there is some stability and now she has some human connections.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Monday, January 21, 2019
Cultural differences
A few cultural things I have discovered so far:
When planning a wedding, it is inappropriate for the groom to invite and call those who are in the grandparents' generation. That is up to the father of the groom. It has something to do with the honor/shame culture as well as the hierarchy that is interwoven into the culture.
When my husband's little sister, Queeny, addresses me, Nai-Nai (grandma) considers it inappropriate for her to call me by my name, instead it is proper to call me "number two sister-in-law" or Er Sao. (Good thing it's not too long.) She told me today that she was scolded for calling me Rachel, so I need to know that if Nai-Nai is present and Queeny says "Er Sao" she is talking to me.
When eating at a restaurant, it is fairly common for the servers to provide a small bin where you can put your purse or backpack rather than having to place the backpack on the floor. This small bin can be slid under your seat.
When we are home and my in-laws arrive, it is considered respectful to greet them and include "mama" or "baba" (mom or dad) rather than just saying hello. I heard that my brother-in-law likes to say "hello" without saying "hello, dad." When he does this, my father-in-law will ask him, "Why didn't you greet me?" This rule applies to all the people in the family in the older generations. So in my parents' generation or grandparents' generation, it is necessary for people in my generation and younger to greet them each by their title (not their name). So if we arrive at a family gathering we would be a good son and daughter-in-law if we make it a point to go around and individually greet, "hello aunt, hello uncle, hello grandma" etc.
When using a bathroom, it is very typical for the hot water to not even be connected to the sink. That means that if you turn the faucet handle towards hot, the water will entirely stop running. I saw this in Romania, too, but the difference here is that even high class restaurants might not have hot water connected in the bathroom sink. Also, bathrooms often have no towels, so you have to let your hands air dry and resist the temptation to dry your hands on your not-so-clean pants. The reason we always dry our hands in Wisconsin (especially in winter) is to prevent chapped skin.
Since I was sick for the last week, I got a lot of advice from everyone about what to do in order to get better or feel well. Traditional Chinese Medicine will tell you that if you have diarrhea you should not eat spicy, oily, or sweet foods. Spicy food can make your tummy feel more irritated. Oily foods can pass through your digestive track more quickly. Sugary foods can feed the bad bacteria. I also was told that milk can exacerbate diarrhea. When I had a cough I was told to drink a lot of water, even if it makes me have to return frequently to the bathroom. I was also told that if I drink a lot of water and eat until I'm full, I will cough less. Someone even pushed some accupuncture points on my arm to see if it would help me feel better when I was coming down with a fever. I was also told not to go barefoot on the cold floor, to wear warm clothes and allow myself to sweat even though I was very warm (from the fever) and had changed into a soccer jersey to cool off.
When I had a coughing fit one day, I was handed a face mask. Talking to Nai-Nai I felt like my face lacked expression, so I pulled the face mask down a little. She motioned to me to put it back. I think the real purpose of wearing the mask was to prevent Nai-Nai from catching my cough.
When shopping for a wedding dress (you need at least two, possibly as many as six, in a Chinese wedding) you can't choose dark or deep colors because they would make me look old. Older people (like my parents' age) can wear those dark colors alright, but for me as the bride to choose a warmer color like that would not be young enough. I will therefore be wearing a very bright red dress, similar in style to the traditional Chinese qipao style, but a more modern version with a lot of lace. I will also get to wear my original wedding dress over again. Hopefully my weight hasn't fluctuated enough to make that a problem. I think I should be fine, it's just that I was kind of under weight at the time of my wedding because of having gotten sick three times.
I think there are things Asians do that Westerners consider strange, but when you understand the reason for doing it, it doesn't seem quite so strange anymore. Facemasks, for example, are frequently worn here because the air is considered to have a lot of pollution. There are ways to find out how bad the pollution is on a given day, and people keep track of it like we do the weather. If the number is really high, people might avoid leaving the house or keep their face covered, especially if riding a motorcycle because the amount of pollution you breath in increases. Since motorcycle is a very typical transportation method here, I have found myself in a face mask more often than I could ever have predicted.
Sometime I'll have to post about the odd things I see here, like poor English translations on signs. It can be pretty funny sometimes.
When planning a wedding, it is inappropriate for the groom to invite and call those who are in the grandparents' generation. That is up to the father of the groom. It has something to do with the honor/shame culture as well as the hierarchy that is interwoven into the culture.
When my husband's little sister, Queeny, addresses me, Nai-Nai (grandma) considers it inappropriate for her to call me by my name, instead it is proper to call me "number two sister-in-law" or Er Sao. (Good thing it's not too long.) She told me today that she was scolded for calling me Rachel, so I need to know that if Nai-Nai is present and Queeny says "Er Sao" she is talking to me.
When eating at a restaurant, it is fairly common for the servers to provide a small bin where you can put your purse or backpack rather than having to place the backpack on the floor. This small bin can be slid under your seat.
When we are home and my in-laws arrive, it is considered respectful to greet them and include "mama" or "baba" (mom or dad) rather than just saying hello. I heard that my brother-in-law likes to say "hello" without saying "hello, dad." When he does this, my father-in-law will ask him, "Why didn't you greet me?" This rule applies to all the people in the family in the older generations. So in my parents' generation or grandparents' generation, it is necessary for people in my generation and younger to greet them each by their title (not their name). So if we arrive at a family gathering we would be a good son and daughter-in-law if we make it a point to go around and individually greet, "hello aunt, hello uncle, hello grandma" etc.
When using a bathroom, it is very typical for the hot water to not even be connected to the sink. That means that if you turn the faucet handle towards hot, the water will entirely stop running. I saw this in Romania, too, but the difference here is that even high class restaurants might not have hot water connected in the bathroom sink. Also, bathrooms often have no towels, so you have to let your hands air dry and resist the temptation to dry your hands on your not-so-clean pants. The reason we always dry our hands in Wisconsin (especially in winter) is to prevent chapped skin.
Since I was sick for the last week, I got a lot of advice from everyone about what to do in order to get better or feel well. Traditional Chinese Medicine will tell you that if you have diarrhea you should not eat spicy, oily, or sweet foods. Spicy food can make your tummy feel more irritated. Oily foods can pass through your digestive track more quickly. Sugary foods can feed the bad bacteria. I also was told that milk can exacerbate diarrhea. When I had a cough I was told to drink a lot of water, even if it makes me have to return frequently to the bathroom. I was also told that if I drink a lot of water and eat until I'm full, I will cough less. Someone even pushed some accupuncture points on my arm to see if it would help me feel better when I was coming down with a fever. I was also told not to go barefoot on the cold floor, to wear warm clothes and allow myself to sweat even though I was very warm (from the fever) and had changed into a soccer jersey to cool off.
When I had a coughing fit one day, I was handed a face mask. Talking to Nai-Nai I felt like my face lacked expression, so I pulled the face mask down a little. She motioned to me to put it back. I think the real purpose of wearing the mask was to prevent Nai-Nai from catching my cough.
When shopping for a wedding dress (you need at least two, possibly as many as six, in a Chinese wedding) you can't choose dark or deep colors because they would make me look old. Older people (like my parents' age) can wear those dark colors alright, but for me as the bride to choose a warmer color like that would not be young enough. I will therefore be wearing a very bright red dress, similar in style to the traditional Chinese qipao style, but a more modern version with a lot of lace. I will also get to wear my original wedding dress over again. Hopefully my weight hasn't fluctuated enough to make that a problem. I think I should be fine, it's just that I was kind of under weight at the time of my wedding because of having gotten sick three times.
I think there are things Asians do that Westerners consider strange, but when you understand the reason for doing it, it doesn't seem quite so strange anymore. Facemasks, for example, are frequently worn here because the air is considered to have a lot of pollution. There are ways to find out how bad the pollution is on a given day, and people keep track of it like we do the weather. If the number is really high, people might avoid leaving the house or keep their face covered, especially if riding a motorcycle because the amount of pollution you breath in increases. Since motorcycle is a very typical transportation method here, I have found myself in a face mask more often than I could ever have predicted.
Sometime I'll have to post about the odd things I see here, like poor English translations on signs. It can be pretty funny sometimes.
Sunday, January 20, 2019
What happened this month?
This past month has been a hectic one.
My husband was preparing for his dissertation proposal (this is not the defense, but the proposal for the topic of the defense), we were packing/moving out, Christmas was coming, and I got sick. So many of my plans for packing were changed, and while other people were preparing their cozy Christmas celebrations I was taking apart my home piece by piece. (That's what it felt like, anyway.)
Our flight left on Christmas day and we spent four days with some friends of ours near Vancouver, Canada. Taking those four days was helpful considering how exhausted we had both become. After I recovered from my illness, Rex also got sick with a cold. I then caught his cold and then caught another bug, probably a stomach flu or food poisoning because I ended up in bed with a fever which was followed by some unusual bowel movements. However, I am feeling much better now and am back to my normal self.
After flying to Taipei we went to my in-law's apartment and we have been staying with them while we get things figured out about where we will be posted for Rex's military service. Once we know his location we will know where to look for an apartment and in which area I should look for work, although I'm considering online work right now since this coming month and a half is quite an unusual one.
Our two main goals in this trip are for us to develop the relationships with Rex's family, and for me to learn Chinese. There are other important things that need to happen during this year in Taiwan, but those two things are our highest priorities since we have unique opportunities in those areas.
I must say that since arriving in Taiwan, it feels like vacation compared to all the demands we had to meet before leaving. Regardless, almost every day we have been running errands, meeting with people, and now we are even planning a wedding banquet for February. For this last reason I feel I'm living in a reality show or like I could write a story. It would probably be called "My Big FatGreek Chinese Wedding."
I also could write a very classic sounding Christmas story because of our packing and travelling experiences during the Christmas season. You might see that story in a future blog post.
My husband was preparing for his dissertation proposal (this is not the defense, but the proposal for the topic of the defense), we were packing/moving out, Christmas was coming, and I got sick. So many of my plans for packing were changed, and while other people were preparing their cozy Christmas celebrations I was taking apart my home piece by piece. (That's what it felt like, anyway.)
Our flight left on Christmas day and we spent four days with some friends of ours near Vancouver, Canada. Taking those four days was helpful considering how exhausted we had both become. After I recovered from my illness, Rex also got sick with a cold. I then caught his cold and then caught another bug, probably a stomach flu or food poisoning because I ended up in bed with a fever which was followed by some unusual bowel movements. However, I am feeling much better now and am back to my normal self.
After flying to Taipei we went to my in-law's apartment and we have been staying with them while we get things figured out about where we will be posted for Rex's military service. Once we know his location we will know where to look for an apartment and in which area I should look for work, although I'm considering online work right now since this coming month and a half is quite an unusual one.
Our two main goals in this trip are for us to develop the relationships with Rex's family, and for me to learn Chinese. There are other important things that need to happen during this year in Taiwan, but those two things are our highest priorities since we have unique opportunities in those areas.
I must say that since arriving in Taiwan, it feels like vacation compared to all the demands we had to meet before leaving. Regardless, almost every day we have been running errands, meeting with people, and now we are even planning a wedding banquet for February. For this last reason I feel I'm living in a reality show or like I could write a story. It would probably be called "My Big Fat
I also could write a very classic sounding Christmas story because of our packing and travelling experiences during the Christmas season. You might see that story in a future blog post.
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