Cultural differences

A few cultural things I have discovered so far:

When planning a wedding, it is inappropriate for the groom to invite and call those who are in the grandparents' generation. That is up to the father of the groom. It has something to do with the honor/shame culture as well as the hierarchy that is interwoven into the culture.

When my husband's little sister, Queeny, addresses me, Nai-Nai (grandma) considers it inappropriate for her to call me by my name, instead it is proper to call me "number two sister-in-law" or Er Sao. (Good thing it's not too long.)  She told me today that she was scolded for calling me Rachel, so I need to know that if Nai-Nai is present and Queeny says "Er Sao" she is talking to me.

When eating at a restaurant, it is fairly common for the servers to provide a small bin where you can put your purse or backpack rather than having to place the backpack on the floor. This small bin can be slid under your seat.

When we are home and my in-laws arrive, it is considered respectful to greet them and include "mama" or "baba" (mom or dad) rather than just saying hello. I heard that my brother-in-law likes to say "hello" without saying "hello, dad." When he does this, my father-in-law will ask him, "Why didn't you greet me?" This rule applies to all the people in the family in the older generations. So in my parents' generation or grandparents' generation, it is necessary for people in my generation and younger to greet them each by their title (not their name). So if we arrive at a family gathering we would be a good son and daughter-in-law if we make it a point to go around and individually greet, "hello aunt, hello uncle, hello grandma" etc.

When using a bathroom, it is very typical for the hot water to not even be connected to the sink. That means that if you turn the faucet handle towards hot, the water will entirely stop running. I saw this in Romania, too, but the difference here is that even high class restaurants might not have hot water connected in the bathroom sink. Also, bathrooms often have no towels, so you have to let your hands air dry and resist the temptation to dry your hands on your not-so-clean pants. The reason we always dry our hands in Wisconsin (especially in winter) is to prevent chapped skin.

Since I was sick for the last week, I got a lot of advice from everyone about what to do in order to get better or feel well. Traditional Chinese Medicine will tell you that if you have diarrhea you should not eat spicy, oily, or sweet foods. Spicy food can make your tummy feel more irritated. Oily foods can pass through your digestive track more quickly. Sugary foods can feed the bad bacteria. I also was told that milk can exacerbate diarrhea. When I had a cough I was told to drink a lot of water, even if it makes me have to return frequently to the bathroom. I was also told that if I drink a lot of water and eat until I'm full, I will cough less. Someone even pushed some accupuncture points on my arm to see if it would help me feel better when I was coming down with a fever. I was also told not to go barefoot on the cold floor, to wear warm clothes and allow myself to sweat even though I was very warm (from the fever) and had changed into a soccer jersey to cool off.

When I had a coughing fit one day, I was handed a face mask. Talking to Nai-Nai I felt like my face lacked expression, so I pulled the face mask down a little. She motioned to me to put it back. I think the real purpose of wearing the mask was to prevent Nai-Nai from catching my cough.

When shopping for a wedding dress (you need at least two, possibly as many as six, in a Chinese wedding) you can't choose dark or deep colors because they would make me look old. Older people (like my parents' age) can wear those dark colors alright, but for me as the bride to choose a warmer color like that would not be young enough. I will therefore be wearing a very bright red dress, similar in style to the traditional Chinese qipao style, but a more modern version with a lot of lace. I will also get to wear my original wedding dress over again. Hopefully my weight hasn't fluctuated enough to make that a problem. I think I should be fine, it's just that I was kind of under weight at the time of my wedding because of having gotten sick three times.

I think there are things Asians do that Westerners consider strange, but when you understand the reason for doing it, it doesn't seem quite so strange anymore. Facemasks, for example, are frequently worn here because the air is considered to have a lot of pollution. There are ways to find out how bad the pollution is on a given day, and people keep track of it like we do the weather. If the number is really high, people might avoid leaving the house or keep their face covered, especially if riding a motorcycle because the amount of pollution you breath in increases. Since motorcycle is a very typical transportation method here, I have found myself in a face mask more often than I could ever have predicted.

Sometime I'll have to post about the odd things I see here, like poor English translations on signs. It can be pretty funny sometimes.