Long Distance Relationships part 1

Two years ago today I arrived home from 8.5 months abroad in Romania where I was volunteering with a missions organization. Just before I had left for Romania a friend of mine (now my husband) and I had developed an interest in each other, and so we were in a long distance relationship for the extent of my time away.

I looked forward to arriving home again with so much anticipation. It was truly a joy to see him again for the first time waiting for me in the airport, flowers in tow.

While the distance was a difficult hurdle, it was also a very meaningful and formative time for us.

I'm thinking I'll present the topic here in this blog and expound on it further in subsequent blogs. I may also include some of my sister's pointers from her time spent in Thailand for six months during her engagement to my current brother-in-law.

So here we go, here are the challenges:

1. Time difference
2. When schedules allowed for talking
3. Needing to be fully present for things going on around us (work, etc)
4. Having marriage in mind (which creates its own pressures)
5. Not getting to hang out with/in each other's social groups.

The benefits:

1. Understanding the value to place on the relationship from early on
2. Having a tangible challenge to endure together.
3. We developed a strong sense of trust
4. We confided in each other and had a close relationship because we talked regularly

Since our relationship developed so profoundly while I was away there were some expected and unexpected occurrences after my return. I'll share those below.

The aftermath challenges:

1. People not realizing you've been dating for close to a year
2. People not understanding how we interact as a couple
3. Having to get to know the other's idiosyncrasies in person
4. People not realizing you're in a serious relationship
5. People thinking you're ready to get married tomorrow (oh wait, I guess that's all relationships)

The aftermath awesomeness:

1. Getting to hang out together, go places together, share experiences
2. Getting to be in the same time zone
3. Holding hands and hugging
4. Being able to observe how the other interacts with other friends and in various social groups

I think I'll describe each of these categories in future blogs. The international dynamic of our relationship might also deserve a few blogs as well. For example: conversations with future in-laws needing to be translated, anxiety of the unknown culture in question, the inability to get to know future family in person, etc.

While I was gone in Romania I had also found a few blogs, articles, and videos talking about how to do well in a long distance relationship. I might try and dig those up as well and post them somewhere.